Hey! It’s the Day of (Impotent) Rage!

Finally, it happened!

I’ve been waiting for something newsworthy to take place in Seattle. Something I could capture with the lens. I missed the WTO riots. I was on the East Coast when the Nisqually Quake hit. I even arrived in town two hours after a transgendered woman climbed a utility tower and breathed fire. I miss all the good stuff.

Then, I heard about the US Day of Rage. Woo hoo! I’m in.

I imagined myself bravely snapping photos of an angry mob, perhaps necessitating I myself climb a telephone poll to snap just the right photograph of a man in a face mask smashing the windows of the Federal Building with a chair … or something. Of course, the mob would catch me and beat me to a pulp. Then, I’d be forced to accept the accolades due my historic bit of photojournalism from the confines of the ICU at Swedish.

“The Day of Rage is in full swing in Seattle!” I read, breathlessly, as I grabbed my camera bag and dashed for the door. 1.8 miles and two cigarettes later, I turned the corner onto 5th Avenue, knowing I was stepping into a veritable minefield.

Not so much with the “full swing” then?

From across the street, nervous security guards watched the throng (do 30 people constitute a throng?) from behind the safety of shrubbery. Later, they ordered pizza. Cops were in attendance, because, rage.

OK, so I was early. The event didn’t start until 11:00, and it must have been no later than noon when I arrived. People were probably still standing in line for lunch at Glo’s. I’m sure the angry mob will descend from Capitol Hill and environs later … once the Bloody Marys have kicked in. I wasn’t going to stick around and wait for it, though. I had to rush home and process my photos (all five of them) documenting this moment in history when everything changed.

I know you can’t see it, but the sign on the left has a little Monopoly guy on it, and the sign on the right reads, “Wall Street took my healthcare.”

So much for my Pulitzer. I suppose I should learn when to use my camera’s automatic settings.

Anywho … you know it’s a protest when the guys in the Guy Fawkes masks show up. But what were they protesting? Aside from a total lack of any noticeable rage, there seemed to be a lack of coherent message. “I’m Not A Tool,” read one sign. Oh, yeah? I’ll be the judge of that.

From the US Day of Rage website:

We demand that Citizens United versus FEC which deems corporations to be people when it come to political contributions be overturned.

We demand state and federal election and campaign finance laws be reformed.

 

One citizen. One dollar. One vote.

 

1. Only citizens should make campaign contributions.
2. Campaign contributions by citizens should not exceed $1 to any political candidate or party.

Um … what?

So, because we’re all slaves to big banks and stuff (one woman was arriving wearing a prison jumpsuit with JP Morgan Chase stenciled on it as I left), and because corporations aren’t people, you demand the government tell me personally how much I can contribute to a candidate? Hey! I’ve got an idea: go to Hell.

This is typically backwards thinking: we want the government to have less power (ostensibly), so let’s give the government power to tell us how we can spend our dollars to prevent us from giving the government power … I guess.

Oh! And because we may not have remembered the message. The Message!

Those nasty rich bastards, with their success and their dastardly campaign contributions! Tax the rich. Tax ‘em! Just tax those mofos, and then they, too, can be poor and spend their weekends standing in the drizzle holding a stupid protest sign bravely laser printed in 100 point Arial. Hey! Are poor people allowed laser printers? I suspect it was made by a corporation. The guy probably used an ATM on the way to the protest to withdraw money for a designer cappuccino, too. Traitor.

I wouldn’t mind looking into a little campaign finance reform here or there, but the idea that the government restricting me to spending $1.00, because someone else may not want to spend $2.00 is stupid. And immoral. And I ain’t having it.

Finally, while I’m glad there was no violence, it would have been nice if there had been some actual protesting, with less general milling about. You know, for my career.

Also? Hippies suck. Thanks for wasting my day.